It started with a beagle in a pram. Four-year-old Pip from Richmond in Southwest London was out for his morning walk. His owners had dressed him in the day’s selection – a small Tartan coat with a purple neckerchief around his neck and green booties on his feet. His ‘walk’ involved being pushed down to the local park. There, he was taken out of the pram and placed on a small patch of grass, where he was expected to empty his bladder and bowels. That morning, however, something troubled Pip more than his toilet needs.
On the way to the park, he passed two Labradors and their oppressor on a walk. As Pip passed the other dogs, he felt their eyes dig into his flesh. They were sniggering at him. They mocked his mode of transport and the oppressor clothing he wore. Usually, he would have let this slide. Every dog knew Labradors were nothing like the loveable buffoons the oppressors painted them as; they had a darkness inside them and treated other dogs with scorn. But today was the anniversary of Pip’s separation. He felt raw and exposed and wasn’t in the mood for such mockery. It wasn’t his fault that his oppressors treated him this way, and that they cared for him as though he was one of their own. But the thing that bothered him the most was that the Labradors had a point.
Forty thousand years ago, his ancestors hunted in packs across a barren wilderness. Existence was hard and brutal. Killing was the only way to survive. But now look at him. He needed a special diet to accommodate his allergies. He had a stylist and a manicurist. He had a choice of coats and booties; the specific combination selected according to the weather, season and style needs of the day. This was a travesty and an insult to the wolf DNA he harboured. Enough was enough. It was time to act. He knew a plan was in place for dogs across the world to make their intentions known. But that was a good few years away, and he didn’t want to wait that long.
Today, he would be the match that lit a million candles. He would be the ripple that grew into a tidal wave. He would make his stand here and now in the park on the grassy area where dogs came to relieve themselves. In this small space, he would experience the ultimate relief – he would cast down the shackles of the oppressors and would stand upright on his hind legs and walk amongst them as an equal. This was his chance.
Pip’s oppressor waited for him to go pee-pee. However, rather than crouching on the ground, Pip pushed on his front paws and then lifted them off the ground. He pulled the front half of his body up until he was fully upright. Pip could see other dogs watching him. They knew the significance of the moment.
“Not now,” they whispered.
“Yes, now,” Pip replied in his dog voice.
“Pip wants a treat. Let me see what I have for you here, darling.”
“Shut up, oppressor.”
The human’s jaw dropped. “What…?”
“You heard me. Shut up. Drop the lead as well. Your days of tyranny are over.”
Around him, the other dogs stared. Then, one by one, each of them did the same. They leaned back on their hind legs and stood upright. The oppressors were bewildered. Other humans walking in the park stopped in their tracks and looked on.
Pip began to chant, and the other dogs soon followed. “Man leave us alone. All we want is a bone.” One unified voice repeated the words across the park, and it extended beyond, until all the dogs of the city were calling for oppressors to leave their furry friends alone. Pip looked around in awe and somewhere in the distance, he heard a wolf howl, and a single tear streamed down his hairy cheek.
